The Benefits of New Beginnings

by
 Dori Shwirtz
April 19, 2021

The Benefits of New Beginnings

Dori Shwirtz

Nobody gets married to get divorced. When you walk down that aisle you think it will be happily ever after. This usually isn’t the reality for anybody and about 43% of us will actually end up getting divorced. Divorce doesn’t have to be a negative, shameful or painful experience. 

As a divorce professional it’s been a pleasure to see so many of my clients move on in a healthy constructive way. It’s even sweeter because it’s usually very difficult to take that bold step out of fear of the unknown so when they finally do it it’s such a relief. I’ve often gotten feedback from my client’s months after their divorce that if they had known how wonderful life was on the other side, they would have done it years earlier. Glad that people are getting the message that divorce can actually be the entry to a happier and healthier life for all members of the family. 

Here are some of the advantages of Starting a New Life:

  1. Focus Time on You:    It’s very typical to get caught up in the day to day of life. Whether it’s our kids, career or keeping up with the Joneses. Our own needs typically get swept under the rug. Divorce is the perfect time to take a deep breath and put the focus back on yourself. What makes you happy? And when you are more self-fulfilled it allows space to be a better all-around person to those closest to you. 
  1. Less Conflict: If there was a lot of fighting in your home with your spouse a split will obviously resolve this. The lessening of conflict in your life will open space for more positive interactions and happiness. Additionally, your kids won’t see their parents battle it out anymore. And your communication with your ex will probably improve with time and be much better than when you were living under the same roof. 
  1. The Possibilities are Endless: Sometimes we stay out of fear. How will I support my kids? What about my house, my car, the kids, my status? Won’t I disappoint everyone? In reality you are only disappointing yourself by not being honest with yourself. If you allow yourself to be authentic instead of pleasing everyone else while you suffer inside-the possibilities for growth and opportunity are endless. 
  1. The Kids: If there’s kids in the marriage they will adjust. And not just adjust-they can thrive.  As long as they are made to feel loved by both of their parents and that the divorce has nothing to do with them and they are never put in the middle of any conflict. Additionally, the kids will learn by example from their parents that when something isn’t working you take action to change it. 
  1. Financial Freedom: Financial conflict is high on the list of reasons for divorce. When you split you won’t have anyone looking over your shoulder anymore at your spending/saving habits. The freedom to control your own finances is a huge stress relief. 
  1. Reconnect and Discover New Connections and Interests: You will now have time to reconnect with old friends or perhaps make new ones. The people you bring into your life now can be a huge support system when beginning your new life. Additionally, this is a good time to take up any new interests you’ve always wanted to try. 
  1. Life is Short: It’s super hard to step out of your comfort zone-scary is an understatement! Managing a new life without your partner takes some getting used to but the rewards are endless. Now is the time to be truly happy-not just happy enough. 


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