How To Start Your Divorce

by
 Dori Shwirtz
January 13, 2021

How To Start Your Divorce

Dori Shwirtz

There’s a reason why January is known as divorce month. Many couples opt to wait until after the holidays to face the music. This leads to an influx of fresh divorce filings in the new year. People really have this desire to make things better in the coming year. Plus, the holiday time may have magnified the severity of the situation. 

You’ve decided to get divorced. That can be the easy part. But where do you go from there? The path to divorce can take many routes so it’s imperative that you choose your journey wisely. A wrong turn or pitstop could cost you big bucks and years off your life. 

Here’s a pretty straightforward list of how to prepare:

1. Have the Talk

Communicate with your spouse about your intentions to split. Are they on the same page? If communicating one on one is not an option a coach or therapist may be helpful. It’s important to articulate your intentions if you can before moving forward.

2. Documents in Order

Even before taking any action get together some important documents that you will need. These include: W-2’s, bank account statements, real estate records, retirement accounts, insurance, mortgage, personal property lists, credit card statements, tax documents, vehicle information, social security cards and birth certificates. There will be much to stress over so if you’re prepared as humanly possible it will alleviate some of that tension. 

3. Online Activity

Rethink your social media behavior. Unfriending or blocking your ex and their close circle may be a good idea during this time. It doesn’t mean you have to be enemies but it’s healthy to establish that line in the sand especially when going through the divorce process. 

4. Reach Out for Support and Gather Knowledge 

 Find trusted friends and professionals that can lift you up. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. Now is not the time to hold on to negative people in your life.  Also, seek out knowledge whether it be a book, website or an expert in the field to help you make the right decisions for you. These include researching the laws in your particular state. The good news is there is a growing variety of divorce professional’s out there to guide you in the right direction. Divorceify’s GPS is a great option for this. 

5. Contested or Uncontested?

After doing your due diligence, decide on whether you will be hiring an attorney and going the traditional route of having your spouse served or alternatively, choosing the more modern uncontested divorce and working out an agreement with your spouse outside of court. There are so many variations on these two options so it’s essential that you figure out what’s best for your particular situation. Some important factors to keep in mind are budget, mindset of both parties, safety during COVID-19, parenting philosophies and your particular state’s laws. 

6. Last but Not Least 

Don’t rush it! Make informed decisions and do not let other people mandate how your divorce should be. If you feel like you need to clear your head first, by all means do that. Take the time to breathe and focus on yourself so you are in the right state of mind to make those life changing decisions. There are so many resources out there that can help you with this from coaches to exercise to finding invigorating hobbies. 

There is a lot of information to digest and you definitely want to make sure that the correct preparation is done before gong forward with starting your divorce. However, this can be an exciting time as it’s the start of a fresh new year and hopefully a more peaceful and energizing new chapter.



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